Here was my first hand experience being a new mom and a full - time student:
My daughter was 5 months old when I decided to take advantage of the pandemic and go back to school full – time. All the classes were virtual so it would be easy! All I had to do was find a baby sitter to watch her during class. If she needed anything I would be right there, then after class I can spend time with her, cook, clean and at night after she goes to bed do my homework. easy right? WRONG. My planner was a lot cleaner than my life ended up being. Learning to manage school and a baby was not a piece of cake.
The first 3 weeks were a breeze because we were in a lockdown because of which I had some family members that were able to come and babysit while I had class. I spoke to my instructor and was given approval to be off camera when I needed to feed. It was going good! I was on top of my homework, my chores were not 100% but it was manageable. It was all under control.
OR SO I THOUGHT…
Businesses started slowly opening up and suddenly I had no more baby sitters, it was just me and the baby. Between listening to lectures, participating, changing diapers, feeding and dealing with random outbursts things started becoming more challenging. I was exhausted! Getting anything done seemed impossible. I kept telling myself the older she got the easier things would become but as soon as she became mobile things only got harder. I had to make sure I had meals prepped for her (which in all honesty rarely ever happened so my break times would be cooking and feeding times). I reluctantly become a screen time mom just so I could participate in class and do my tests. There would be days where I would be on Microsoft Teams basically on the verge of crying because my daughter was having a bad day, teething, sick or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
But Why Didn’t You Use Daycare?
Daycare was not an option for me. It didn't sit right because of the pandemic. It was a scary world out there. My little one was still so young and it just didn’t feel right (it was a personal choice). I chose the hard route because despite the difficulty it was the safest option. Plus realistically I just wanted to be the one to raise her; and be able to see all her first myself (again personal choice). I placed a lot of value on the time I spent with her.
Sleep was a challenge.
Nights were tough, my daughter was not a good napper or overall sleeper, so that took a toll on me. I would spend hours putting her to sleep and in between her sleep windows I focused on studying and playing catch up. Safe to say I was a living breathing zombie. But hey nothing coffee can’t fix right?
so a year later how did I manage to succeed in being a student-mom, survive and maintain my goal GPA.
Well I am about to share my secret tips with you!
Tips For Succeeding In Being A Student -Mom
- Stick to a bedtime routine/time that works for you!
- Find a bedtime that is early enough for you to have the evening to catch up on your household chores and studying but late enough that your little one will maximize on sleep.
- Make a self-care ritual for yourself to practice every morning or every night. Choose a time that works best with you.
- This is super important and crucial for your mental health. Find something that lets you calm down, destress and that you enjoy. Prioritize time throughout the day to focus on yourself, even if it’s 10 minutes. This allows you to re-energize yourself. Start with small additions and eventually add more. Do not overload yourself! Also include your little one with self care this models healthy behavior to cope with stress and anxiety.
- Get your little one involved in doing your household chores.
- The worst feeling is spending a chunk of your day in class and watching your little one give you the “mommy spend time with me” look. Then mom guilt pushes you into spending all your time with your little one and saving all your chores until later. Don't do this! It leads to burn out quickly! Instead start involving your little one with chores. Include them with cooking and cleaning (depending on what you are doing). Allow them to explore with you this is amazing for child development.
- Ask for help!
- if you have a friend or family member that is willing to help you in anyway that you need. take it! If you need an hour or two to yourself and you have someone to baby sit don’t feel guilty. If daycare is an option for you I highly recommend it, your little one will be busy socializing with other kids and you will be free to focus on what you need to do. Remember by taking care of yourself, you will be a better parent.
- Plan ahead and schedule accordingly
- It can get overwhelming trying to remember a trillion things. Use a physical planner or an app on your phone and write things down. Plan ahead for meals, assignments, appointments, activities, really basically anything. Even if it does not go according to what you plan, it gives you an idea of what your day should look like in order to accomplish everything you need. If you have a partner or older kids distribute tasks and write it somewhere where all of you can visually see. Organization is key!
I can’t say it’s easy but it is definitely rewarding…
There is this stigma that after you become a mother your dreams and ambitions need to change. That is far from the truth. You can still live your life and move onto new chapters without needing to “wait for the right time” to fulfil your dreams. Because let me tell you there is never a right time to take those big steps in your life no matter what it is. There will be a thousand reasons excuses to stop you and only a handful to convince you. Take the leap of faith I promise you it will be worth it.
repeat after me:
I am succeeding in being a student mom and being the best I can be for myself, and my family.
